Interesting first result of the herbal kit.

So this week I started taking the Breast Enchancer kit. As the website recomended, I only took one of each of the herbs then I massaged only the smaller one with 1ml of tinture mixed with a teaspoon of lotion morning and night for 5minutes. The leafet that came with the herb suggested putting a hot towel of heat pad on afterwards for 20 minutes so I did that too.

Amazingly something has happened! After day three, my breast didn't increase in size (I wasn't expecting to do anything until week 8) but it has what I can only call "perked up". It was a little droopy but it has become very firm. I'm not sure if this is a result of the herbs or the exercise but since I have only been exercising a couple of days when it happened, it's quite strange! I will keep you posted.

GPs being paid NOT to refer patients to specialists

As if we didn't have enough problems getting refered......

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1078796/How-sick-GPs-paid-bonus-NOT-send-hospital.html

This is just alarming full stop. It really is. Does anyone in the UK give a damn about healthcare?

No longer a freak

You may have noticed the big change. This is because thanks to the response I have had, I no longer wish to class myself as a freak. This is how I have been made to feel for 15 years thanks to a total lack of support. No woman should ever have to go through this without help and I no longer want women to feel they can't get respect.

How to find your individual breast cup size.

It's hard to judge your own cup size when you are uneven. I found this great resource explaining the method surgeons use to find out cup size in individual breasts that are uneven.

Taken from Breast Asymmetry - When Does It Need Treatment?
Frederick R. Jelovsek MD.

"If you have a difficulty determining cup size you may want to measure the breasts the way the plastic surgeons measure it. Using this technique, you need a tape measure that has markings in inches. Start at the outside of the chest where the breast begins. Measure across the fullest part of the breast (usually across the nipple) to where the other side of the breast stops near the breast bone. If the measurement is:

7 inches (17.8 cm) - cup size is A
7.5 inches (19.0 cm) - cup size is full A
8 inches (20.3 cm) - cup size is B
8.5 inches (21.6 cm) - cup size is full B
9 inches (22.9 cm) - cup size is C
9.5 inches (24.1 cm) - cup size is full C
10 inches (25.4 cm) - cup size is D
10.5 inches (26.7 cm) - cup size is full D
11 inches (30 cm) - cup size is DD "

I have measured mine. The smaller one is really smacks between a full A and a B while the larger one is a DD.

Uneven freak becomes guinea pig!

I am honestly willing to fight this as far as I can but at the same time, I know I have to be realistic and think about alternatives and ways to help everything along. I have decided as part of my blog and my ongoing fight to find a way of achieving the right to lead a normal life without this dark cloud over my head, I have decided to try out alternative measures and act a bit like a human guinea pig on your behalf.

There are two things I am going to test at the moment.


WEIGHT LOSS

When looking at stories from other women, one occuring theme seemed to be that women were ether encourage to gain weight (only up to a healthy level, a BMI of 25) in an attempt to even naturally or to lose weight (some women found they had been refused on the ground their BMI was not 25 even if they were a few pounds out). If you are as uneven as me you may have found that, like me, despite a large weight loss, their is no change in breast size at all! I lost a large amount of weight - 3 and a half stone - on doctors advisement in order to get my bust down and nothing happened. Sure, my body is in better condition but I can't enjoy it because of my problem.

Okay this is the plan. My BMI averages at about 27. That's two points above 25. My plan is to get down to the LOWEST HEALTHY BMI a woman can be, 19. My reasoning is this. Ether -

a) The larger breast will shrink in size, making it more managable and less noticable...

or

b) This will prevent any doctor telling me to lose weight to even then out instead. They can't tell me to gain weight because my GP and nurse confirmed that at my current size which is close to a BMI of 25, I am still extremely uneven and NO doctor will encourage you to go further than that!

Don't worry. I have no intention of going on a mad diet. I lost my weight the healthly way with sensible eating and exercise. I love my size but I am willing to do this if it means getting a result.

My second plan is...

ALTERNATIVE THREAPY

I have noticed a lot of ads for breast enhancment pills. I know, yeah right! It's a bit like cellilute creme and fat pills. If they really worked, no one would ever have surgery! I have to some some of them are seriously dodgy with chemicals I cannot even pronouce. But searching for uneven breasts on google, one item popped up. This was something else. For a start, these people were far more honest about their product. They came across very honest and open. they oftered real advice and didn't try to give out medical information like many other sites did. they didn't have a picture of a "professional in a white coat". The thing that interested me most was that there product was not only all natural (just herbs and pure ones too) but they said it could be used to help uneven breasts. The idea is to massage the smaller one with the product mixed in lotion. At first I was like "yeah okay" until I saw a couple of photos from users. These were real women, I checked. They were members of the forum along with a lot of other very happy women. This one woman had gone from a A/B to a C in 4 months. I wrote to them and asked them about it. They seemed very honest so I am going to test this out. I will be honest. I am still not 100% convinced but I am willing at this point to give it a try and test out this product for the next year or until I have surgery! That's if I ever get there!

The product I will be testing is the breast enhancement kit from http://www.homeherbs.co.uk/

I would like to point out while Home herbs are aware I am doing this, nether they nor I are connected in any way. The kit has been purchased full price with my own money and they have no influence on the content of my blog.

My first counselling session.

I had my first day with my counsellor yesterday. It was okay. It was a relief to get how I felt about everything off my chest. I haven't been sleeping and last night was the first full night of sleep I have has in ages. I do think no matter what your circumstances are -whether you are seeking funding, wheter you have been turned down, or even getting it done privately, it's important to get the emotional baggage sorted. I did have one concern before going that I hate to say was slightly confirmed. Because I wear my insert all the time, I don't think the counsellor found it easy to sympathise. After all, she has heard is all before. People say there is something wrong when really they blow it out of proportion. That is why I have come up with an idea to help her better understand. I shall take in with me my spare silicon insert so she can see the size I have to wear in order to balance my breasts out. I hope that by knowing this, she can help me a lot better. If there is anyone out there who has found they have a difficult time with a counsellor, maybe trying this trick will help. It will be another two weeks before I see her again but I will post up what happens on the blog.

When are uneven breasts "normal"?

I understand there will be women with various sized breasts who may come across this blog and wonder if their own breasts are in fact normal. This is what I have found.

It's normal for woman to have a cup to a cup and a half size difference in breast. About 67% of women according to the NHS have this difference. Most men do not notice this difference. It is also normal to be uneven in puberty which is why plastic surgeons like to wait until you are 18. even then you may find you still grow up to 21. This is good news! Take heart!

For those who are two sizes , this is the "grey area". While this is alos considered by some to be normal, the difference is usually enough to start causing problems. It's more noticable and can have a big effect. Please don't stay slient if this is the case. Go to your GP.

Whether your primary care trust funds it or not, if you are looking into surgery on the NHS I warn you it appears they tend to only go for cases where the size difference is 2 cups or more. That's the theory anyway! I would like to point out that in my case, the size difference is at least 3 cup sizes. This has been confirmed by a GP and a nurse. Lucky me.

My bra insert

Oooooh I am posting a lot today! Okay, I want to talk about an option many of us uneven ladies have to take. That is silicon inserts. These are so much better that cotton padding or in my original case, tissue! They help just that little bit and don't cost the earth.

It took me a while to find mine. I have shop bought ones at first. The problem was they only went up two sizes and tended to split after one year of constant use. The only bonus of shop ones is they tend to mould to your shape so you don't have to worry about them falling out. I looked into getting ones designed for women who had masectomys and these were very real looking with a fake nipple! But they were a shocking £70!

I finally found mine on ebay. Went up three sizes, had a bit at the bottom that pushed the small one up so it create a little cleavage (too scared to show it though in case it pokes out), and even has a raise nipple bit. I have to wear a size smaller bra to keep it in though as I find tape makes me itch.

In the years I have used fillets, I have only had two incidences where I ether forgot to pop it in or it fell out. Trust me, I only did each once as the shame was awful. In the summer, I have to use talc as the small one gets very itchy. When I shared a house in my first year at uni, I wore it all the time, even in bed. I ended up with a rash across my nipple so when I returned home, I started taking it off at night.

Sometimes I hate going to bed or showering because it means I have to take it off and remind myself that I am abnormal.

Coping with uneven breasts: People who say "Deal with it".

I have come across a lot of messages from people saying that people with uneven breasts should just "deal with it". I'll be honest. I'm not stupid, I am well aware that the vast majority of women have a difference in cup size. If it was a case of a cup size, I could deal with it. That would be normal. Two sizes would be harder but in time there would be some hope. I have a three to four size difference. My reply to these people is YOU deal with it.

Pad your bra out on your left side or borrow a bra and pad it out one side only so it goes up by 3 inches. Now walk down the street like it. What's that? You don't want to? Now why could that be? Is it the thought of people staring at you? Laughing at you? Is it unattractive to see yourself that way? Well honey, at least you can take that padding out, I can't take out mine. I have to put IN padding to look like you. What's it like? What's it like to be able to buy a bra that doesn't cut you in half on one size and leave a large gapping pocket on the other? What's it like to go to the beach? What's it like to have a hug? I can't hug anyone, I'm too scared they will feel it. What's it like to have sex? I'm still a virgin because no man will ever touch me. To any woman who ever gets told to just deal with it, I suggest pulling your bra insert out and smacking them across the face with it.

Some interesting facts I have come across so far about getting breast surgery on the NHS.

1) In order to be considered for plastic surgery on the NHS, you must be refered by a GP, a plastic surgeon, then a psychologist.

2) You are more likely to be considered if you have a size difference of two cups or more and it affects you psychologically.

3) In some cases, your GP and surgeon will insist you need to get a BMI of 25 or under first. This isn't always necessary but can help your case.

4) You are less likely to get the surgery if you are married or in a long term relationship.

5) You usually have to wait until you are 18 for surgery unless the difference is extreme but some GPs like to wait until you are 21.

6) Despite backing from BAAPS over the fact that this kind of surgery is otherwise, the NHS does not class surgery for extremely uneven breasts as "corrective". It is classed as "cosmetic" and "low priority". Therefore, the average wait for surgery once it's approved is 3 years.

Free boob jobs.......

You heard but don't get excited just yet. This is a site in the states that offers a rather unusual way to get surgery. Women sign up and post photos of themselves. Men then sign up and are encouraged to donate money towards getting them implants. It actually works with at least one woman every month getting free surgery. The women help things along by befriending the men, talking to them, posting pics (they are not always of a sexual nature, most are just normal) and videos. Even British women can use this. There are some catches though. You must post a pic of yourself (so forget it if you are anon like me!) and you are talking to strangers at the end of the day so you must be super brave. Sadly it's not for me but other women may find it of use.

http://www.myfreeimplants.com/

Other womens stories about uneven breasts and the NHS

I have been looking like crazy online for any resourses. Hardly any exist. It's so tiresome. It must be so easy for women to give up after feeling there is no support. But I did come across a few things I will include in this blog. The first I am going to talk about now.

I came across channel 4s Embarassing illnesses site with included a clip of a woman who had very uneven breasts. The doctor refered her for surgery (I am assuming ether her primary care trust paid for it or the programme did) to have one reduced. On this page, there was a staggering amount of comments. The stories were amazing! Some reported on how easy it was to get refered, others talked about constant rejection despite a shocking difference in size and psychological harm. One girl stated that she had been turned down on appeal so many times even though her psychologist had insisted to the care trust this was the only way for her to stop self harming. What was the most shocking about the stories was the way some of the women had been treated by doctors. One girl was told by her doctor to "gain weight" in the hope to even them out. Another was told she was "being silly". This is shocking and appauling. Some of the girls, like me, didn't even get examined! Sadly I could not post a link to my blog because of channel 4s rules but I hope they find this blog and I hope they would be willing to share their stories as I have.

Here is a link to the site. http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/video/consultations/consultation-asymmetrical-breasts/

My talk with my PALS officer

Today I spoke on the phone with my PALS officer who explained a few things to me. For a start, she informed me what my first GP told me was not true. The operation can be done on the NHS but only in very exceptional circumstances. What happens is they use a QALY or a quality of life assesment which is like a score sheet to assess how having this operation will affect my overall quality of life. In my case, I will have to prove that it would be impossible to lead a normal life even with psychotherapy which is actually extremely hard. One thing that may work in my favour is that I am still a virgin and have serious social interaction issues but again, she said I would still have to meet the right score. They literary tick boxes! This is rubbish because I only have to be one box out and I won't get it!

She also explained to me that there was also a risk that the surgeon could very well turn to me and, even if I was in a terrible state, refuse to put in for the funding on the grounds he thinks that therapy would be a better step or that he isn't confident enough that I could meet the QALY standards. If this happens, no one will be able to help me as in order to even start, the surgeon must be willing to help me to apply for the funding and the problem is that this surgeon is the ONLY one my GPs can refer me too! Everything literary rests in the hands of a stranger.

I am keeping my MP up to date. If for any reason the surgeon does refuse, I am hoping my MP can hold some sway.

There was one light at the end of the tunnel though. My PALS explained to me that I stood of very good grounding as not only had I been refered by a GP, I also got the consultation which some women in my circumstance don't even get that far so if any ladies are at the same stage as me, take heart. If you got this far, it must mean they think you could have a case!